Sod your pheasants! Rubbish. General: We are indeed drifting into the arena of the unwell. Uncle Monty: I can never touch raw meat until it's cooked. Of course you are! The "I must sleep with you because I've been scared" - convenient isn't it, when you're both half or . Withnail: We'll keep them here til they arrive. Withnail: This ain't fancy dress." Danny: Danny: And as Presuming Ed here has so consistently pointed out, we have failed to paint it black. Oh, how I tried not to. Withnail hands Marwood the bag of shopping and jumps over the wall to safety. This thread is archived. Withnail: Two out-of-work actors -- the anxious, luckless Marwood and his acerbic, alcoholic friend, Withnail -- spend their days drifting between their squalid flat, the unemployment office and the pub. But he's a very low-temperature spade, the Coalman. - Monty: Youre going to finish the vegetables. He's so mauve, we don't know what he's planning! Excuse me, we were wondering if we could purchase a pheasant off of you? Withnail: Plot - Withnail and "I" - the narrator - are two aspiring actors and friends who are looking for a job in London without success. No, that is a dog. I'll deal with the water and other plumbings, you can check the fuel and wood situation. It's a bloody chicken! What are we supposed to do with that? You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Danny: Withnail: The only thing youre in that Ive been in is this ****ing bath! I think it's time to release you from the lgumes, and transfer your talents to the meat. His name's Presuming Ed. How noble in reason! I don't consciously offend big men like this. Bates novel I'd read. Marwood: Withnail: withnail and i 96119 GIFs. I'll show the lot of you! I called him a ponce. I've gone and fucked my brain! Nonsense, this is a far superior drink to meths! Danny: If you're hanging on to a rising balloon, you're presented with a difficult decision - let go before it's too late or hang on and keep getting higher, posing the question: how long can you keep a grip on the rope? Withnail: Jesus Christ, this huge, thatched head with its earlobes and cannonball is now considered sane. You will make it low. How dare you! Withnail: Free to those who can afford it, very expensive to those who can't. We'll be back. [Withnail laughs uncontrollably and drops to the floor]. There's nothing out there except a hurricane. This doesn't go down at all well. Marwood: Get out of it for a while. They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's, man. I'm getting the *fear*! Withnail: (Ranting on a mountain) Bastards! You mustn't blame him. I feel unusual. Press J to jump to the feed. Withnail: No you won't, you're not leaving me in here alone. Marwood: Marwood: [Contemplating how to kill a chicken for supper] It's got dreadful beady eyes, they stare at you. Withnail: [They drunkenly barge into some tearooms]. An expert on bulls you are not! You haven't slept in sixty hours, you're in no state to tackle it. Withnail: Stop saying that! *What are you doing prowling around in the middle of the fucking night*? Marwood: [voiceover] Now, come along, he's going to revitalise himself and you're going to finish the vegetables. [voiceover] His head must weigh fifty pounds on its own. The wankers don't drink it because they can't afford it! [stands barefoot, about to leave Withnail and Marwood's flat] I've got a bastard behind the eyes. Withnail: I feel like a pig shat in my head. Withnail: Withnail: Then why has my head gone numb? How noble in reason! There is a certain. My partner's got a really good idea for making dolls. I do. If I see that silage heap hanging about up here, *I'll take the bastard axe to him*! Director: Bruce Robinson Stars: Richard E. Grant, Paul McGann, Richard Griffiths Rating: Unrated Runtime: 107 minutes Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Withnail: Old suit?! No, he'd like a bit of pleading. Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: Withnail: This ain't fancy dress." I really don't want you to. He says he won't come in for lunch without an apology. Go with it. Danny: Don't get uptight with me, man. Marwood: It's ridiculous. Look at my tongue, it's wearing a yellow sock. I must go home at once and discuss his problems in depth. I'm a trained actor reduced to the status of a bum. Listen to this. It can utilise up to 12 skins. Because if you do, I'll have to give you a dose of medicine. I suggest you both go outside and discuss it sensibly, in the street. Then they must be delighted with your career. You have made it high. Withnail and I is a 1986 film comedy written and directed by Bruce Robinson and starring Richard E. Grant (Withnail), Paul McGann (Marwood, the "I" of the title), Richard Griffiths (Uncle Monty) and Ralph Brown (Danny). Tea Shop Proprietor: moment in a TV show, movie, or music video you want to share. Withnail: https://www.quotes.net/movies/withnail_and_i_quotes_14074. The wankers on site don't drink it because they can't afford it! Marwood: Oh, my boys, my boys, we're at the end of an age. Danny: Withnail: I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. Withnail: This was more like a long white hat. Find the exact The greatest decade in the history of mankind is over. Throw yourself into the road, darling! When I strike they won't know what hit them! Marwood: Brings back such memories of Oxford. Quotes.net. Here hare here? Withnail: No fridges, no televisions, no phones. What happened to your cigar commercial? [offering Monty a glass] Withnail: This is a far superior drink to meths. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Scrubbers! Withnail: I'm utterly arseholed. withnail. [he pulls its head off and tips some pills out of it]. There is a hare tied to the door with a note attached. quotes military heroes famous quotesgram. Then you gotta change its drawers for it. Withnail: 'Scuse me. As the world communicates more and more via texts, memes and sound bytes, short but profound quotes from books have become more relevant and important. Its landlord was a retired alcoholic with military pretensions and a complexion like the inside of a teapot. Be seated. If he comes into my room again, it's murder, and you'll be held responsible in law! Stop saying that, Withnail, of course he's the fucking farmer! Are you the farmer? I been watching you, especially you, prancing like a tit. I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth. At some point or another I want to stop and get hold of a child. [holding umbrella in rain] We've gone on holiday by mistake. Ponce! It's society's crime, not ours. Withnail: Maybe he's written this in some moment of drunken sincerity. [calmly] A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials, heavy and sudden, fall upon us. Miss Blennerhassett, telephone the police. How dare you! You lead him astray. Monty: According to these instructions, you refuse everything but a urine sample. Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E04 High Diving Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E11 Tortoise Beats Hare, [SINGING] Hare Krishna, Hare Lama Hare Krishna, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E08 Water, Water Every Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection: Volume 1 - S01E37 Frigid Hare, Looney Tunes Golden Collection V.2 - S01E13 Slick Hare. Don't look, don't look! I will say one thing for Monty, he keeps a sensational cellar. The carrot has mystery. It'll happen. Why don't you use a cup like any other human being? He doesn't have any friends. [after being threatened by Jake the poacher] Didn't you hear? Sons are the anchors of a mother's life. I say, you know what we should do? Withnail: You mean we've come out here in the middle of f***ing nowhere without aspirins? But now he's stopped, he's much better in our sex life and in our general life.'" You lose, you gain Makes no difference so long as you keep taking the pills. I took drugs to win medals says top athlete Geoff Woade.". He's going into your room. The movie, which ta. Marwood: Well, I don't know. This dreadful little Israelite. Alright, we're going to have to work quickly. I have just finished fighting a naked man! *Arrrgh*! Withnail: It's like Greenland in here. Danny's here. Marwood: This doll is extremely dangerous; it has voodoo qualities. Monty: It will pass. [pointing at a table] Uncle Monty: Oh! Marwood: Danny: I dont advise a haircut, man. How like a god! Here are found the emeralds, sapphires, carbuncles, topazes, chrysolites, onyxes, beryls, sardius, and other costly stones. Marwood: It has felt like listening to a symphony and here comes the crescendo. We've gone on holiday by mistake. Withnail: Look at my tongue. The meaning dawns on him. The movie, which takes place in England in late 1969, involves the misadventures of a pair of chronically unemployed actors. [eyes filling with tears] STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Marwood: We are not drunks, we are multi-millionaires! I never thought he'd come all this way. I wondered if you could sell us some food. I'm not having this shag sack insulting me! Danny: I don't advise a haircut, man. Withnail: Sulking up the hill. Marwood: What's in your hump? Sinew in nicotine base. Who f***s arses? Free to those that can afford it, very expensive to those that can't. Peter Marwood (I): Stop saying that Withnail, of course hes the fucking farmer! Withnail: It'll happen. You're looking very beautiful, man. I feel like a pig shat in my head. The only people he converses with are his clients and occasionally the police. Withnail: [Withnail picks up a bottle of lighter fluid]. Yes, as a matter of fact I have. What fucker said that? Quotes About Cool Kid (57 Quotes) www.quotemaster.org. [to Marwood] Sitting down to enjoy my holiday. Monty: I'm glad you're the proprietor, I was gonna have to have a word with you anyway. Monty: Well, of course you dont, you are incapable of indulging in anything but pleasure, am I not right? And it isn't his fault he cannot love you any more than it's mine that I adore you. [shouting at his cat] Withnail: [reading from the paper] "In a world exclusive interview, 33-year-old shotputter Geoff Woade, who weighs 317 pounds, admitted taking massive doses of anabolic steroids, drugs banned in sport.